Why We Never Compare Your Child to Another Player

One of the this approach non-negotiables for minis coaching is this: no player comparisons. We will never say to your child — in a session, in a group, or individually — that another player is better, faster, or more skilled.

This is not about protecting feelings. It is about protecting development.

How Comparison Affects Motivation

Motivation research distinguishes between two types of orientation: task orientation (am I improving at the task?) and ego orientation (am I better than others at the task?).

Children who develop task orientation are more resilient, more likely to persist through difficulty, and more intrinsically motivated. They measure progress against their own previous performance.

Children who develop ego orientation are more fragile. Their motivation depends on continued comparative superiority — the moment a peer improves past them, motivation collapses.

Comparisons from adults — even well-intentioned ones ("you're just as good as X, you can do it!") — activate ego orientation. The standard shifts from can I do this? to am I better than X at this?

What We Do Instead

Our coaches measure each child against their own previous performance. "Last week you tried that three times and it didn't come off. Today it did — you've been practising." This is task orientation in action.

We celebrate improvement, effort, and persistence. These are within every child's control. Comparative ranking is not.

A Request to Parents

The same principle applies on the touchline. Comments like "why can't you do what X is doing?" — even said with love and encouragement — activate ego orientation and make your child's experience conditional on others' performance.

Focus on your child. Their journey. Their improvement. That is the story worth following.